What’s a “good” speed boat these days? Because from what I can tell, everything on the water is either a leather couch with GPS or a carbon missile with a cupholder glued on as a legal technicality.
Let’s settle this scientifically-ish and invent the Good Speed Boat Standard. I want fast without a chiropractor on retainer, drama-free ownership, and the ability to outrun at least two jet skis for dignity purposes. Nominate your boats and please bring real numbers, not brochure astrology.
Proposed Good Speed Boat criteria:
- Real-world speed: 60-80 mph on pump gas with a normal human aboard and a cooler that didn’t come from a dollhouse.
- Rough-water manners: Can hold 45-55 mph in honest 1-2 ft chop without turning my molars into gravel.
- Fuel sanity: At 50-60 mph cruise, what’s your mpg? Bonus points for not needing aviation-grade unicorn tears.
- Trailerability: Under 6,000 lb wet on the trailer, fits behind a half-ton truck, doesn’t require a wide-load escort and a prayer circle at the ramp.
- Maintenance reality: Parts available, no exotic race-drive rituals, doesn’t introduce me to a parts manager who knows my birthday.
- Fun factor: Holeshot that doesn’t need a calendar, tracks straight, minimal chine-walk once you actually learn to drive it.
For science, three test events:
1) The Chop Sprint: 10 miles in 1-2 ft wind chop. Report average speed, trim/tab setup, and how many vertebrae filed a complaint.
2) The Margarita Retention Index: At 40-50 mph, how full is the cup at the end of a marina-to-marina run? 0% = blender; 100% = yacht vibes.
3) The Wallet Whisperer: Best mph per gallon at a steady 55 mph. Round numbers are fine; tales from your flow meter are even better.
What to include with your nomination:
- Make/model/year, engine(s), gear ratio, prop (diameter/pitch/type), jack plate/setback if applicable.
- WOT rpm and GPS speed, cruise speed/fuel burn, typical trim/tab positions.
- Hull bits: deadrise, pad vs. deep-V vs. cat, stepped or not.
- Quirks: chine walk cures, porpoising fixes, crosswind voodoo, “don’t do this or you’ll meet Neptune personally.”
Target zone I’m curious about:
- 20-27 feet. Single big outboard? Twin smaller outboards? Single stern drive that won’t file for alimony?
- Boats that can do 60+ on 87-89 octane, seat four adults without auditions, and won’t make me re-home the dog to pay for drives.
- Older cult classics welcome if they’re not fiberglass Vegas: Progression/Sutphen/Velocity/Tuff/Donzi/Checkmate/Baja/etc., plus modern hot-rod outboard rigs and small cats that don’t try to swap ends at the first sneeze.
Let’s crowdsource a short list that actually helps buyers:
- The all-rounder you’d hand to a competent newbie who wants to learn fast boating without remedial swimming lessons.
- The sleeper that punches way above its weight with the right prop and setup.
- The rough-water bully that trades 5 mph of top end for a spine that still bends.
Post your setup and numbers. If your boat fails the Margarita test, you’re still invited-just bring tacos.